– A guest article by Marie Perponcher –
What difficulty are you facing right now? What situation in your life is causing you headaches, sleepless nights and insecurity?
“In the middle of Difficulty lies Opportunity,” Albert Einstein already knew. In my personal difficulty, however, there is not only one possibility, but many different ones. And that is exactly the problem: I have to make a decision. A serious one.
How I would like to simply have to decide what I eat for lunch today or which of my friends I call. The decision I have to make does not only affect me today, nor only during the coming year but goes far beyond that. Moreover, it does not only concern me but also my fellow people and our relationships.
With increasing age, more and more responsibilities are coming our way. I don’t mind that – many of my responsibilities I have imposed on myself. I like to take care of them. In some cases, I am even very proud of them. But without these responsibilities, I could perhaps make the decision a little easier.
But when I take a closer look at Albert Einstein’s quote and attach more importance to the beginning of the sentence, everything becomes a little clearer to me – “in the middle of difficulty”. So I have to go deeper into my problem, take a closer look, not just at the surface. What does that decision making mean to me? Only to me?
Because who is the center of the decision? Right, me. What will my life be like if I make the decision? What are the consequences if in the end the other possibility would have been better? What does my decision change for me?
So far I have always made my decisions according to my gut feeling. As a big fan of lists, I have of course also written one or two pro and contra lists. But on one page, I almost always wrote on the pro side: “Feels better”. Sometimes I imagine the different ways figuratively and recognize different colors. Sometimes it is so clear that one way is simply grey and the other colorful, then the decision is particularly easy for me. Only this time my method simply doesn’t work and I don’t really know why.
At first, I thought it was because so many other important aspects of my life were involved in my decision. Inevitably. But something inside tells me that this is not the reason. So what is it? Am I too afraid of the consequences of the decision? Am I perhaps afraid of the judgments of my fellow people? Or my own?
Probably I am still too much on the surface. I do not yet see the middle of my difficulty. Admittedly, it is quite well hidden, everything is connected and quite confusing. First I have to fight my way through it. When I get to the center, my gut feeling and colors may also return.
To get there, I have to take more time. Far away from stress, not just for an hour. It will take time, I have to calm down and start meditating. I am sure that my intuition knows what is right for me. It just couldn’t tell me yet. For me personally, it always helps to talk about my problems. Not with everyone, otherwise I would waste too much energy on the difficulty instead of using it for the opportunity. I talk to those affected and people I know can help me move forward. With their knowledge, with their sympathy. Of course, I am aware that in the end I have to make the decision all by myself.
What also reassures me is that decisions can almost always be reversed, at least the ones I have to make. Even if it touches many other people. I can try it, and if it doesn’t work, I will go the other way. Failure is not a bad thing. But then at least I tried and learned.
How can you get out of your difficulty?